Dear Diary,

A couple of weeks ago I received an email from the London Sperm Bank reminding me to come in weekly so it doesn't feel like I am "forever abstaining".

Too late, I started donating a few months ago and according to my count I'm just over one third of the way through the programme. A quick calculation suggests that I may be finished in November.  Oh no wait I have holidays too, so make that December.  Ugh.

The whole donor thing isn't as easy as the guys in my sports club think it is: they imagine I just lock myself in a room, browse some porn, orgasm and collect the money.  Then buy them all beer...  

No!

The biggest impact being a donor has is on my solo-sex-life. I constantly have to think about scheduling: if I masturbate now what impact will this have on my going to the London Sperm Bank?  You see you don't have to abstain completely for the duration of the programme but it's a no-no for 72 hours before you come in to see the jar.  So if I want to visit the clinic on a Friday that means nothing on Wed or Thu.  And if I slip up and do something on a Wed, then I have to start again and essentially write that week off. 

Then there are all the tests.  First off you have to get past the initial screening (apparently only 1 in 10 do so).  Then you have STI screening and genetic blood tests done.  Then your DNA is sequenced to make sure you're not going to produce children with genetic malformations.  And I've just made an appointment with a doctor for a physical check-over and discussion of any family issues that may suggest my sperm would be undesirable.  And after all these checks they quarantine your produce for a year.  Just in case.  

So it's not all sunshine and fun.  It's definitely not something that should be entered into lightly: it impacts your daily life to a certain extent and then there's the fact that you're actually creating children who could come and ask you out for a beer in 18 years time to get to know you.

And yet it's all for a good cause, which makes it totally worthwhile.  Attached to the email I mentioned earlier were a series of thank you cards from mothers/parents, with photos of beautiful children that they wouldn't have been able to have without the (*cough*) hard work and dedication of donors like me.  Looking at those photos reminds me of the look my brother and his wife have on their faces when they look at their son.  Even writing that sentence I well up with happiness for my brother that they finally got the child they'd been trying so hard for, as I remember the pain they went through with miscarriages and the stacks of books with titles like 'Conceiving for Dummies' (I'm not sure if that actually exists but I would be willing to bet it does).  My brother even gave up booze for a year as his wife had read somewhere that it would strengthen up his little swimmers (you don't know my brother but he likes his booze so the fact that he gave it up shows how desperate he got).

In the end my brother managed to conceive naturally but I know other couples who haven't been able to.  Not to mention all the lesbian friends I have who don't have the “right” body parts to allow for natural fertilisation.

So yes being a donor interferes with my life a bit but the benefits outweigh the downsides.  I just need to think of the happiness I'll bring others by allowing them to have children.  And really when you think about it, is not masturbating for a few days that much of a pain?  It's certainly less of a bother than the marathon I'm running next year to raise funds for a blood cancer charity I'm also a donor with-26 miles of hell (plus all the training!) vs. abstaining for 72 hours prior to each donation.  Not really much of a comparison.

Meanwhile I need to figure out how I can schedule going to the clinic bi-weekly.  I'm sure my boss thinks I have something seriously wrong with me given the number of 'Doctor' appointments I have in my diary!

Post written by London Sperm Bank Donor 

Be a hero, become a donor!

In the UK, there is a huge demand for donor sperm, and this has lead to some patients having to go on very long waiting lists.  The London Sperm Bank has grown to become one of the largest sperm banks in the UK and thanks to our donors we have successfully created 1,661 families through our parent clinic The London Women’s Clinic.

To our patients, donors are heroes because, without their help their beautiful family unit would not exist.  Sperm donation is a vital part of a long journey that some women must take in order to have a family.

At The London Sperm Bank we are pleased to have a growing number of men coming forward from a variety of different backgrounds.  Besides their desire to do something selfless and to help with the national shortage of sperm donors, these men tell us that they have chosen to come forward for a range of different reasons. Here are just a few:

1. To pass on genes: Almost as an insurance policy, the knowledge that although not procreating themselves, genetic preservation seems like a satisfactory alternative.
2. A safer alternative to co-parenting: As a HFEA licensed sperm bank we are governed and regulated by the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority.  This means that issues such as legal parenthood of a child is safeguarded by the law, thus donors never have parental, legal or parental obligations.
3. To put a smile on people’s faces: Some donors have been lucky to have procreated themselves and like the thought of giving someone else the joy they felt when they became a father.

There are many more reasons for becoming a donor, with each reason unique to the individual.  It makes the recruitment process all the more fun for us!

The initial process is fairly simple, fill out an enquiry form on our website www.londonspermbank.com or call us on 020 7563 4305 to register an interest.

The basic requirements for sperm donation are as follows:

• Aged 18-41
• Healthy and free from infection
• A family history free of hereditary disease
• Agree to make up to 25 donations over a period of 3-6 months

The initial screening tests to join the program will be completed within the first two visits to the clinic and consists of a semen analysis and a blood and urine test.  All visits to and from the clinic are reimbursed at £35 to cover any out of pocket expenses incurred. 

Pass on your genes and make this year the year you choose to be someone’s hero.  Make this year count.  

Goodbye LSB. There will always be a piece of my heart devoted to you...

Hello. I'm not really one for engaging in more work than I have to, so I put this blog off for as long as I possibly could.  Although optional, in spite of myself I felt duty-bound to write something, because truth be told, donating sperm at the LSB has been one of the most enjoyable, ego-boosting, bizarre (in a good way) and hopefully worth-while things that I have done. And I'm proud to share that with the world.

As I write this, my last donation is already a week or two behind me. It was an emotional affair. Toyin and Natalie were just on their way out to Sainsbury's as I was coming down the stairs. "Oh hi!" they said, "we're just on our way out to Sainsbury's." I was dismayed. Not having Toyin or Natalie there for my last donation would be like not having your friends and family there to wave you goodbye as you prepare to launch into space! (by "there" I don't mean actually in the room with me, obviously). Trying to stop my bottom lip from quivering I replied, "Oh right... You know this is my last donation right?" The appreciation of what that meant was immediately apparent to them both, and they assured me that they would be very quick in procuring lunch and would make it back in time to say goodbye to me. That genuinely meant a lot to me, and I beamed. "Do you want anything from the shop?" Natalie asked me. "A Snickers maybe?" I replied meekly.

Toyin and Natalie and Amber (who I didn't see as much but who is also lovely) and the rest of the LSB staff (you know who you are) are all brilliant! They are affable, interesting, helpful, warm, generous (my Snickers is testament to that) well-informed professionals, and it is to them that I dedicate this blog. Do watch out for Toyin though, for as well as being all those things she is also bonkers.

My story is one of metamorphosis. When I entertained the idea of becoming a donor, after spying an advert for the London Sperm Bank on the tube, my motivation for wanting to get involved was at first puerile, then selfish. But as I began to understand more about how much of an impact my donations might have on people's lives, the puerility dropped away. In its place there slowly grew a belief that I was actually doing something really worthwhile. Something that could be of benefit to a stranger and help make their dream of bringing a life into this world a reality. It was and remains a warm, fuzzy feeling. I did for a while wrestle with thoughts and feelings that I was recklessly helping to bring more lives into this already over-populated world (yes, I am one of those people) but then I asked myself how many unwanted pregnancies and births there are in this country alone, every year, every month, every day. All the children created as a result of sperm donation are wanted, perhaps desperately, and will be loved, no doubt madly. What more is there to say?

On top of that, you get paid to do something that I've been doing for pleasure and at will for the past nineteen years or thereabouts. And it's also a massive ego-booster: I got told after my "interview donation" that only one in ten guys have what it takes to make the grade... Read this blog and weep boys. What else... it's incredibly educational and informative. For example, it wasn't until joining the program that I learned that the sperm you are producing at any given time is the result of whatever you were doing three months ago. Wow. And, best of all, at least for me, you get to pass on and ensure the survival of your genes. Without even having to take anyone out on a date! But seriously, I know that everyone's situation is different, and that people's motivations for wanting to donate will be different too but for me, that has probably been the biggest and best thing about it all. I'm 29 now and I'd love to have children of my own someday but in lots of ways that possibility has never seemed more improbable. To know that in all likelihood my sperm will be used to create a human being that is 50% me (on a purely genetic level) is simply unbelievable and incredible. I can't describe how happy it makes me feel. Totally selfish but there you go. It would be cool to meet some of these people that I've helped make someday...

So as you can see, from where I'm sitting it's all win-win-win. Now that it's over, there is a void. I was a donor for almost a year and in that year the LSB, its staff and the act of donating itself became part of the fabric of my life. It is nice to be able to masturbate whenever I want, with better porn, in less clinical surroundings but I will miss it all. Like I say, the people who work there are awesome. You get to masturbate. You get remuneration . You get to help create life. You get to help people. And when it's all done, you get a Snickers.

Thank you, and good night.

Blog entry written by a LSB donor,  Support Worker 

Dear Diary....The Programme, from start to finish

As I prepare to conclude my participation in the programme, I thrust my mind back to the outset and the reasons I joined.  These thoughts summarise why I have to profess my pride in having run the course and hopefully helped some very willing and able parents to have a child/children of their own.  The benefits brought to many thousands of caring parents whom require fertility treatment must make the LSB’s programme both incredibly worthwhile and, in my own experience, very personally beneficial in finding out more about the people we are and the great gifts we possess.

Dear friends of my mother have recently had their first child, a beautiful daughter; counted as a great blessing which they had for years feared would never arrive.  They had exhausted a great deal of savings to attempt three cycles of fertility treatment.  Having seen their disaffection – though maintained desire – it brought home to me how lucky many of us are; to have full virility.  Quite saddening to me is the fact that many of us, either by choice, misfortune or orientation might never be in a position to have a child.   Educated friends, increasingly, do not want to bring children into the modern society; feeling a general dissuasion toward the world we live in.  Some are incredibly fertile but either have not the luck or the confidence to meet somebody.   Others simply are not inclined towards children, towards traditional conception and so forth. 

Personally, having a very faithful; thence fatalistic background, I had to search my conscience to find comfort in engaging in the programme.  Aspects of my religious upbringing make the process quite uncomfortable and therefore what I have done for the good of others does not conform to what I would say are the rubrics of my personal ethics.  Or, should I say, what were my personal ethics.  Fortunately for me, I have benefited from different educative schools and I took a utilitarian viewpoint when weighing-up the decision to donate.  I would describe myself as a straight, reasonably-conservative and old-fashioned, young man with traditional views on bringing children into the world: mother and father, 2.4 children, nice family home.   What I had to do; or more-so, decided to do – was to look at the situation objectively. 

The modern world allows us all to thoroughly enjoy our differences; in ethnicity, creed, culture and many other areas.  There are no longer the outmoded restrictions and discriminations regarding sexuality, gender, colour, physical ability and such.  So my mindset of the typical family is rather narrow; though I am proud of who I am – there are many other people who are incredibly capable of bringing-up children.  For instance, I have two girl-friends and two male friends whom are enjoying same-sex relationships, are brilliant with children, hold steady jobs and own their own properties.  There can be no right, objectively, to say that they are any less able to raise children than a heterosexual couple.  With a great deal of young people in this country falling pregnant in adolescence, latching-on to Government-backed support to raise their children; it can be no less socially acceptable to help those whom have the means to raise healthy and happy children.  Rather than turn this into an anthropological or socio-demographic debate (or any other highfalutin’ terminology one might seek to use) I shall shut away my full rationale and personal soul-searching regarding donation.  Needless to say, however, the crux of the matter is that the benefits to society as a whole must be seen to be good.

Having overcome my initial inhibitions, I have to say that I am greatly pleased with the decision to join the programme.  In my earnest opinion, there must be hundreds of thousands of men, in London alone, whom can painlessly (quite the opposite, rather) help innumerable potential parents.  The people whom utilise fertility treatments are both screened – rather scrutinised – and, more importantly, incredibly devoted to the notion of parenthood.   In our modern day, where genuine affection and love for other people appears less and less evident; this behaviour should be greatly encouraged.  

What grates at me a little is that the LSB programme is so logical.  Most men, since puberty, have somehow engaged in masturbation, often by desire; more pressingly by necessity.  This is a fact which is irrefutable and perhaps ought not be such a cause of shame as it often is for the young, particularly.  Irrespectively, the programme gives men an outlet for this, covers expenses and aids other people.  Therefore, this is the most enjoyable vocation any man is ever likely to find!  As such, you could sum-up the programme as a way of – genuinely – doing a huge service for other people, whilst taking care of a natural process and, perhaps, earning a little cash for the fun of it.

My final point is the personal mental and health and fitness benefits that the programme brings.  Going through the initial tests is a little bit of an ego boost.  Ascertaining virility can give the confidence a lift.  Then there are the tests; a little blood, some urine & a physical examination.  At the end of this, there is room to appreciate the lack of illness, disease, infection. 

The flipside of the tests is that it has decreased my desire to sleep-around; particularly to be far more careful in future.  Those of us on the programme are very fortunate and gambling that away in a game of chance with a stranger no longer appeals greatly.  Combining that with my aforementioned reasons of wanting to help those whom cannot have children, it really has given me an increased awareness not only of the great tool I have in my body; but also the genuine sanctity attached to raising children; and family love – irrespective of what the components are of that family.

This is not a deliberately persuasive piece for the LSB.  I am not a sycophant, perhaps an idealist; more-so a realist.  There are many people affected by fertility problems: many people have the ability to help these people via a simple process which costs nothing yet gives an awful lot to the donor.  Entered into for the right reasons, this is as rewarding to the donor as the recipient.

Article written by a London Sperm Bank Donor:  A Business Owner  living and working in London

Dear Diary.....'Tis the end of an era....

"Wait, this can't be right.  This can't be your last donation..." but apparently it was.  

I felt a bit sad leaving the London Sperm Bank for the last time today.  The squeezing in of trips across London between client meetings; the regular abstinence; the planning around 'if I do something now then I'll not be able to donate on Friday dammit'. It had all become part of life and now it's over.

To celebrate the occasion I decided to upload a photo of my last donation in its BIOHAZARD bag to Facebook and tag it at the London Sperm Bank.  Then I adjusted the privacy settings to 'Close friends only' but quickly reverted that as almost everyone I'm friends with on Facebook knows what I've been getting up to.....

Looking back through my Facebook timeline I'm amazed at how much I've done in the six months I've been donating: I've changed jobs, become an uncle twice over, been to far too many parties, given up booze, been on 13 holidays visiting 22 cities and travelling over 30,000 miles, run over 1,000 KM and... donated ~80ml of ejaculate.

The donation part doesn't seem that impressive when compared to the other things in my life but when a friend just asked me if I was pleased I'd done it, it was very easy to reply with an affirmative.  It might not be as important saving lives, as I do by being a blood and stem cell donor, but the creation of life is almost there.  And I keep reminding myself of the adorable lesbian couple in the London Women's Clinic that I saw when I went for my medical check-up.

This probably won't be my last entry but for now it's good bye from me.

Blog written by a London Sperm Bank Donor working in the City.

WE WILL SURELY MISS YOU!!! THANK YOU FOR YOUR GENEROUS CONTRIBUTION AND FOR MAKING THE DECISION TO BECOME A DONOR 

Dear Diary......

When you donate at the London Sperm Bank there's a bit of paperwork that needs to be done before you get down to the deed.  On this paperwork are the results from all your previous donations, with column headings such as 'Post-thaw motility' and 'Post-thaw progression'.  Not knowing exactly what these are and being bored at work I decided to Google them...

As is the way with reading things on the 'net, I ended up going down a rabbit hole and my browser history was filled with too many titles with 'sperm' in it.  I had to clear it.

I did eventually learn all I needed to learn (and a bit more about bovine IVF) but it just raised more questions in my head.  Specifically: how on earth do you settle on a particular vial of sperm without taking it our for dinner, living with it for a few years and seeing it at its worst after a particularly heavy night out with the boys?

The London Sperm Bank (in association with the London Women's Clinic) was the first UK donation clinic to have an online brochure style website detailing the personal qualities of its sperm donors.  It details things like our hobbies, occupation and a lovely little blurb from Toyin on our personality.  And you can search by height, education, religion, etc. as well.  

This must be a huge step up from the completely anonymous profiles that people were previously presented with but given the difficulty I have in finding a partner on online dating websites, where I'm given a plethora of photos, stats and sales pitches, I still feel sorry for the people who have to choose based on this information!

The US sperm banks tackle this problem a different way.  Some of them advertise as only accepting donations from lawyers, bankers, doctors and other 'high grade professions'.  Others only accept donors from top-rated universities and from students in the top percentile of their classes.  Others brag that "less than 0.05 percent of the men that inquire about being a donor go on to become donors".  Plus rather than being anonymous some of the sperm banks are willing to sell you photos of a donor when he was a baby, as this is 'helpful for those who have concerns about how their child might look'.  Or how about a photo of the donor when he's an adult?  Sure thing buddy that'll be $$$!

This sounds awful!  I can just image some high powered business lady in NYC sitting in her immaculate suit and Big Hair trying to decide between Chad, the 6'4" blond ex-A&F-model-now-lawyer, or Brad, the 6'3" Wall St CEO with Amazing Teeth and ohmyjustlookathowcutehisbabyphotois...

It doesn't get any better with the Sperm Stats: I found a US discussion forum with women who are complaining that they're being offered sperm with only 80% post-thaw motility and with post-thaw sperm counts of only 45 million (which is significantly above what my searches suggest is a pre-freeze 'normal male').  But I suppose if you're demanding perfection, you expect perfect sperm too!  How else would you be able brag to your lady friends over lunch about the IVF you're going through: 'Oh that's nothing, my sperm was 99.999% motile and had a count of 1.7 BILLION!  Plus he's 8' tall and has an IQ in the top 0.0001% of the population! Mwahahaha'.

So maybe less is more when it comes to sperm donation.  Choosing a donor based on personality rather than looks and income is certainly much more hand-wavingly-British.  And anyway, the sperm is only half of the equation: there's still the egg to consider.

Post written by A London Sperm Bank Donor,  A City Professional

Dear Diary......

Apparently the human brain ignores the majority of information it receives to prevent information overload. But once something becomes "important", suddenly there are brown cars everywhere you look.  I'm finding the same with being a sperm donor. I don't think fertility and other associated topics were ever really discussed around me. And now….well, everyone seemingly has a story.

I went to visit my brother and his family over the weekend. Over dinner my sister-in-law piped up with "M and S are pregnant".

"Oh that's great!" I gushed, "They’ve been trying for years right? Glad it finally happened - they'll be amazing parents".

Now it turns out that in fact they hadn’t been trying for years and that was just something they'd been telling my mum to keep her off their backs. We'd all just accepted the lie and assumed that M had chemically castrated himself through over use of hair removal cream in places it shouldn't be used...

However, it wasn't all good news: "Poor A and M are still trying though. It's been two years now and they haven't had any luck."

It transpires that A and M had been tested, and are independently fertile and on that basis should be able to conceive.  But apparently some people aren't compatible (immune responses or somewhat) and no matter how much they try things just aren't going to work out.  They've seemingly tried everything; A has even given up wheat (and beer) as it was suggested that it may help but to no avail.

This was new to me.  My running list of Reasons People Need Sperm Donors included things like lesbian couples, single women, cancer, etc but at no point did I think that two people who are supposedly in full working order would need a third party to step in.  And it's sounding likely that they are indeed going to involve a donor.

So my weekend away with my brother and his family ended up not only being a wonderful weekend, but also reasserting once more that I was doing a good thing by donating. And if A and M do end up using a donor I'll be looking very closely at their child to check for similarities...

Blog entry written by a current Sperm Donor  and IT Consultant in  the city 

A Sperm Party?

Masturbation is normally a solitary activity, unless you're gay or have an understanding girlfriend. But not tonight...

I'm on the tube on the way home from the first ever London Sperm Bank donor Christmas party and, I feel, it was a huge success. Hangovers not withstanding of course! There was a large turnout of both donors and London Sperm Bank & London Women's Clinic staff at a pub local to the LSB, and it ran well over its allotted time, with Toyin leaving a group of 'hard core' donors and staff behind when she headed "home". 

Being a sperm donor was a solitary activity until tonight.  Sure I met Toyin, Natalie and, occasionally, Amber, but it generally didn't involve any other donors.  So it was nice to meet others who have been, or are going through, the process, each of whom has their own reason for becoming a donor and who has their own story to tell about their donation journey. 

All in all tonight was enjoyable: I had a few beers, chatted to quite a few people and had the obligatory junk food dinner on the way home.  But as with all of my previous trips to do donations, I came away from the experience with my mind whiring.  Talking to the donors was interesting but really their stories were variations of my own.  The staff, however, were fascinating.

All of the staff were interesting, from their funny stories about donors, to the reasons why they did their jobs.  But I found chatting to a lady whose job it is to help the recipients of our donations through the process the most interesting.  She turned up late, complained about having to catch up with the others, and then proceeded to tell me, over the better part of a bottle of wine, about the lives of the ladies (and couples) who we donors help to enrich.

I wrote before about a lesbian couple I stalked through the halls of the London Women's Clinic, and how great I felt about how some day a similar couple would be recipients of one of my donations.  And what this lady, between mouthfuls of wine, told me once again validated this feeling: from stories of same sex couples who've deliberated long and hard about wanting to accept donor sperm, to straight couples who have tried everything else, to single women who, for whatever reason, don't have a partner and need the help of a donor.

People of all walks of life need the help of sperm donors and it's a wonderful feeling to know I'll be helping them.

The feeling of community tonight was overwhelming: lab staff recognised donors; Toyin announced everyone as they arrived (by name not by donor number); there were hugs; jokes about Natalie having to inspect the provided LSB porn; discussions of where people were going on holiday; etc.  It was like a work Christmas party, but with people who have given up their time to enrich the lives of others, rather than staff bitching about their boss and complaining about the drinks budget.

And a highlight was a donor being told that there'd been confirmation today that he'd had a live birth of twins: everyone gave him a cheer and he left the pub with a huge smile on his face.

That'll be me soon hopefully.  Meanwhile I have the warm glow of knowing I'm helping others.  Well, maybe once the hangover has gone.

Written by a London Sperm Bank Donor

Dear Diary......

*****This week comes two blog entries as one is from two weeks ago, preparation for our Alternative Parenting Show meant delayed blog postings :-) ******

It amazes me that I started donating five months ago: on the one hand it seems like a long time but then it seems like the time has flown by.  I think that's more to do with my changing jobs, seven holidays and a generally busy life, than my being a sperm donor however.

On the way over to the London Sperm Bank earlier I was reflecting on the first time I did the journey and how nervous I was.  When I get nervous my OCD tends to go into overdrive and that time was no different: I had cached maps, excuses in my head should anyone at work ask where I'd been and various notes saved to my phone to help fill the forms out.  I'd done the planning and so I duly went on my way.

The expectations I'd had of the London Sperm Bank were that it would be similar to other every other medical institution I'd visited in the past: involving bored and indifferent reception staff, with maybe the occasional 'how was your weekend?' to keep things friendly and the constant waiting that doctor appointments invariably involve...

Oh how wrong I was! 

Bored reception staff?  Nope: I was greeted directly by the extremely friendly Donor Recruitment Officer, Toyin.  Indifferent?  No way: she gave the impression that she really believed in what she was doing.  Friendly?  Positively: my nerves didn't stand a chance against her enthusiasm and cheerfulness!  Waiting?!  HAH!! It took me longer to walk down the corridor to reception than I stood waiting...  

Toyin had completely won me over before she even got as far as (kindly) commenting on how much younger I looked than the date of birth in my passport suggested.

Yet the nerves were still there.  And I remember being jealous of how seemingly at ease another donor was and how much banter and camaraderie there was between him and Toyin.  I just couldn't see myself ever being that relaxed in this environment, my 'inner mother' just wouldn't allow it.

So yes it amazes me that five months has passed.  But even more so I am amazed how sperm donation has become part of my life.  I'm now the one chatting and enjoying banter with Toyin and Natalie, the other friendly face I see weekly.  They comment if I miss a week.  They know my donor number.  We chat about things other than sperm.  There's a cheerful wave and goodbye after a donation.  I feel welcomed and valued, and all that awkwardness and nervousness is a dim and distant memory.

It's going to be strange when I no longer need to give donations.

Article written by London Sperm Bank Donor, IT consultant working in the City.

Dear Diary.....

As I left the LSB this morning, Toyin was furiously at work updating donor profiles on the LSB website, getting them ready for the Alternative Parenting Show.  And to think I've been whinging about the report I've had to write...

With less than a month to go until my first sample becomes available for use, my profile will presumably be written soon.  Indeed, Toyin's last email to us donors included a plea for information that would assist in her writing them.  I resisted replying with a list of keywords: 'genius, Adonis, personable, well endowed, hilariously funny, modest...' etc.  After all, she presumably already had them all on her list anyway.

But it can't be easy having to write these profiles.  Summarising someone's personality down into a paragraph or so of text.  Keeping it brief yet description.  Conveying the donor's personality, warts and all, yet trying to put everyone in a positive light.  I've equated it to online dating before and I'm still sticking by that comparison.

For me, this is becoming the end game of my time as a sperm donor: just 15 more vials required.  This time next year I'll presumably have received an email or two with notification of a live birth from my sperm and my weekly trips to Harley St will be a dim and distant memory.  It'll be a bit sad to say good bye to Toyin and her team but I'm really looking forward to posting 'I'm a father' on Facebook. I'm sure my friends will get bored of it after the 5th time...

Article written by London Sperm Bank Donor: IT consultant working in the City

Dear Diary.......

My sports club is currently enjoying a number of foreign visitors over for the olympics.  Last night, over my nth post-sport-beer, my conversation with a gay American couple shifted to that of male circumcision (don't ask me how we got onto it, I really have no idea).

There's been a lot of press recently over a German court banning any non-medically-necessary circumcision of children.  Well, 'a lot' may be an exaggeration but how often do we read about the actions of German courts in the Daily Mail?

So what has this got to do with sperm donation? Rights. I'll explain...

When you sign up as a donor there's a box asking if you want any restrictions placed on the use of your sperm.  That's really about it as far as donor rights go.  Sure I could ring up later having change my mind about the whole thing and they'll destroy my donations but I can't say 'ok sure you can have my sperm but I want you to dress any children conceived from it only in organic cotton and I want you to read them The Very Hungry Caterpillar twice weekly'.

And I certainly can't dictate that they are under no circumstances allowed to circumcise any male children.

This was my biggest sticking point in being a donor: the giving up of control and responsibility.  Basically, what happens when a product of my loins rocks up on my doorstep in 19 years time and I'm either disappointed in them or disagree with the way they've been brought up?

I understand enough about genetics to appreciate that despite whatever genetic advantages (or disadvantages) they may receive from me, they'll end up the way they'll end up.  But the parents are a different matter.  They're people I can disagree with and get angry about.  What if they raise my sperm-child to believe that spicy food is bad for you?  What if they never raise the child to see the wonder in the world around us or to encourage them to seek out every opportunity for growth and adventure?

And as a Humanist-cum-militant-atheist, I (very) briefly contemplating asking if I could put a restriction in dictating that only non-religious people could conceive using my sperm.  

Of course I realised it was futile to worry about what may be.  Sure I may end up being disappointed in them but what parent doesn't worry about this.  On the flip side the young adults that seek me out later may put me to shame having done, seen and achieved more than my feeble worries could ever imagine.

So I have no rights but what about influence?

As a donor I was encouraged to write a 'letter' to any children who want to know more about their donor, going into detail about my life, childhood, personality and so on.  I think it's probably the most difficult thing I've had to do since I left university! I wanted to write something that would inspire them to live life whilst giving a taste of what it is that is me and where any annoying personality traits they have may have come from.  Yet at the same time trying not to come across as too 'cringe' (and I couldn't help but fret about what Toyin would think typing up my letter!).

I have no idea if my letter will do any good or if anyone will read it or even understand it!  So now it's over to their parents...

Post written by a  current London Sperm Bank donor:  IT Consultant working in the city

Dear Diary.....

This week I passed through the final check-point on my way to having my donations approved for consumption: a check-up and chat with a doctor upstairs from the London Sperm Bank (LSB) in the London's Women Clinic.

I felt a bit strange walking into the Women's Clinic, as I was seemingly the only man around.  I had an appointment and was supposed to be there but I felt like I was intruding somehow in the magic of child-making.  Did the ladies waiting with me really want to see me sitting there?  A donor! Get out!!  Get yourself back downstairs to your porn and jars and earn your keep...

I ended up stalking a cute lesbian couple from the downstairs waiting room up to the upstairs waiting room and it was lovely to see them supporting each other whilst they waited for a scan.  Neither was showing so it must be quite soon into the pregnancy and I couldn't help but feel a warm glow inside that someday one of my donations would be allowing something similar to happen.

The doctor appointment involved a chat to ensure I was of sound mind and knew what I was getting into and a poke around my genitals, although without the requisite cough.  I’m not sure why my genitals needed poking, as presumably the fact that I'm able to produce healthy donations would suggest everything was fine, but I duly dropped my pants and endured the poke before heading back down to the LSB to give another donation.

Dropping back down to the basement I couldn't help but compare the LSB with the London Women's Clinic.  

I like the London Sperm Bank, with its brightly painted rooms, but the contrast between the two made the LSB have a slightly seedy feel to it, almost like a bachelor pad: it's in a basement, there's a leather couch with a TV and the rooms where the deed is done have a selection of porn in them (split into straight and gay piles).

Whereas the London Women's Clinic had floral couches, high ceilings, copies of The Economist instead of porn and a lot of very expensive equipment.

It was like those times I've accidentally walked into the ladies changing rooms with that feeling of wrongness: oh this is nice... No wait hang-on, where's the smell of urine and sweat, oh hell I'm in the ladies... 

But the LSB feels a bit like home now, grubby porn and all, whereas the Women's Clinic was alien and clinical to me after spending so much time at the sperm bank.  From the presence of the nurses in their scrubs to the fact that the receptionist referred to me as Mr, it felt very business like, rather than the friendly smiles and banter downstairs.

I've realised recently that not only have I started getting quite emotionally invested in being a donor but that I'm actually enjoying the experience.  I feel good about it!  And not just because of the associated orgasms... I look forward to seeing Toyin and hearing her stories of men posting condoms through to them as prank 'donations' (They apparently didn't even tie a knot in it so it leaked out everywhere... vile!)

It's amazing how something that a few months ago felt awkward, uncomfortable and forced is transitioning into 'normal'.

Blog entry written by a London Sperm Bank Donor, an IT Consultant working in the city.

Dear Diary......

"Not tonight dear; I have a headache".  I never thought I'd utter those words but today, in a loose way, I did.  And I'm not quite sure how I feel about it...  Disappointment?  Shame?  Mock indifference?  All of the above most likely.

When it comes to ejaculation, I'm not the fastest boy on the block.  I've come to accept that it just takes me a while, and that sometimes things just don't go the way I want.   But apparently my brother is similar (yes, we're a sharing family) and Google returns pages of results with people who post comments asking about it, so it's not something that I'm alone in and it's something I've come to accept about myself.

Yet when I go to the sperm clinic to donate I can't help but fret about my performance.  When you arrive and sign in you're given your stats (your 'performance' if you like) from your last visit.  Usually with some muttered praise about how well you did, presumably so that your male ego feels large enough that you're encouraged to continue with the programme.  I suck it up of course: my heart swelling with pride at being told my numbers are 'really really good', grabbing the BIOHAZARD bag and going off to the booth to do Another Good Job.  

Last week though things didn't follow this pattern: I had a sample rejected.  Apparently my little swimmers were tired or something so when I arrived instead of numbers there was 'DISCARD' in the column.  It had been highlighted.  I presume to draw even more attention to my failure...  The occasional rejection is apparently normal; they say that most people have 3-4 donations rejected.  But I found it as some sort of affront to my masculinity: how dare they reject me!

And now this week things have reached a new low: I left the booth with an empty BIOHAZARD bag having given it my all and failed.  

As I said earlier, I'm quite used to not reaching climax.  But at the clinic there's paperwork: lines that need to be drawn through entries and so on.  And so I couldn't help but feel a bit of shame and inadequacy when I handed over the empty bag and scurried away.

I'm sure it must happen to others too but as men we don't like to talk about the bad sex.  Just the good sex.  And although my weekly relationship with a little plastic jar isn't actually sex, it's close enough that my ego can't tell the difference.

But next week is another week.  I'll catch up on some sleep and in a few weeks time this little episode will be forgotten.  The ladies at the London Sperm Bank have probably forgotten about it already.  They don't care how long I spend in the booth or what porn I look at.  Or even that I'm jacking off.  Just as long as everything is safe and legal they're happy.

Post written by London Sperm Bank Donor.  IT specialist

Dear Diary.....

Last night, over dinner with my sports club, I dropped into conversation that I was a sperm donor.  They took it quite well, by which I mean that only one person looked shocked and asked me to repeat what I'd just said.


I've always been one of those people that friends criticise for being overly honest about my life: I don't like to dress things up and I struggle somewhat with conversational boundaries. I've been dubbed 'inappropriate' by many whilst at the same time applauded for being direct and not embarrassed to discuss things like masturbation or the snot hanging from my friend's nose...


Yet when I started donating I felt the need to be quiet about it.  I worried about this being a new low for me: being paid to donate something I'm usually quite happy to waste without any thought.  The money wasn't the reason I decided to donate but I did fret that friends would misinterpret my motives and think of me as some sort prostitute.  I just wasn't sure how the group would react so I kept things to myself.


This withholding didn't really sit well with me and after a couple of visits I decided that my close friends know enough my past antics for this to not cause any issues or raised eyebrows.  After all we all masturbate and that's all donation is really...  Just with a jar and paperwork.  And a bag clearly labelled 'BIOHAZARD'.  
So I outed myself as a donor to a friend via email:

• Me: 'I'm a sperm donor'
• Friend: 'Cool.  See you in the pub later'.

No derision.  No disgust. Just acceptance.


By the time I got to the pub, however, it was apparent that the gossip circle had been running at full belt as everyone knew what I'd been up to and was full of questions.  If I'd know just how many questions there were going to be I'd have prepared a powerpoint deck! They grilled me about why I'd decided to do it, what it involved, was I buying the beers using sperm-money and 'can I be there when you tell your mother?'.


All in all things were positive and it proved that my fears of being branded a prostitute were unfounded. Reactions ranged from "I think you're doing a great thing" and "I wish I was capable of abstaining for more than a day so I could do it" to mildly negative comments around my helping people produce children who should be really adopting or that, from a gay friend, I was in some way having sex with a woman, which he found disturbing. But mostly positive.


One particular highlight of my coming out as a donor was at a birthday where someone asked how my donations were going.  From this the conversation lead down a path to us drunkenly coming up with a marketing strategy for a new range of mini milks. At which point the waiter, who'd be fussing around us throughout, interrupted to ask if we were interested in desert...  For some reason the birthday boy felt it necessary to apologise. 

The most extreme reaction I've had was from my mother, unsurprisingly, who decided that my donating was depriving her of grand children. Despite already having four... But this post isn't long enough to work through the way my mother's mind works. Yet even she has got over her initial shock (I'm sure the arrival of two more grand children helped), so these days I'm much happier discussing it and I've even told my aunty.  I've not quite reached the stage of checking myself into the clinic on Facebook when I go but I'm no longer shy about it. I can even, almost, look Toyin, the nice lady at reception, in the eye afterwards...

Post written by a London Sperm Bank Donor,  IT Consultant

Dear Diary......

Bring sperm donation up in conversation and it will almost certainly be met by snickers. And not the yummy type, unfortunately. You can almost see the mental image forming in the person's head : overweight, sweaty perverts furiously jacking off over some porn rag in a grubby room somewhere. 

It’s not like that at all. Whatever the individual sperm donor’s sexual predilection may be, it has nothing to do with why they’re donating. We’re donating because we want to help. End of. There’s nothing in it for us, apart from recouping travel expenses and the three seconds of pleasure the male orgasm affords. Some of us have personal reasons. As for myself, two of my siblings were conceived through IVF and my wider familial situation has made me realise the old adage, ‘Blood is thicker than Water’, is nothing more than a go-to saying for manipulative family members. My closest family relationships are actually with step-parents. Contrary to popular opinion, you can choose your family.

One of the most amazing things about sperm donation, in my opinion, is that some donors (and indeed some recipients) are gay. This exemplifies how, at the core, it is about helping humans have children, regardless of who or what they are. It breaks away from the trappings of the rigid nuclear family (a hangover from our species infancy in which women and children were seen as chattel) and looks towards a brighter future where a core human right - the right to have children - is universal, regardless of gender, orientation or social status. One only has to imagine the suffering of childless individuals or gay people who want to have children in less progressive societies to understand that sperm donation and fertility programs are spearheading something very important, something that has only recently emerged on humanity’s horizon. Clinics, patients and donors alike are essentially standing for personal choice, total social equality and unconditional love, three things that should be present in every human society.

Post written by a London Sperm Bank Donor , Archaeology  Student

It's now or never if you were born in 1972

Last month the HFEA reduced the legal age a man can donate his sperm from 45 to 41, which means the time to take action is now.  If you have considered sperm donation, but haven’t got round to making in enquiry, the decision could be taken out of your hands if you were born before 1972.

Why is there an age limit on donating sperm?


According to Dr. Silber, of St Luke's Infertility Hospital in the US, "Men experience an age-related decrease in testicular size and in sperm production.  In some men, there is a decline in testosterone production and a decreased ability of the body to produce and mature sperm cells, which becomes noticeable after the age of 40”

It is also known that as men age, sperm cells can accumulate mutations that are passed to offspring. Regardless of age, sperm continues to reproduce through division. If a sperm becomes altered or mutates, any other sperm that is produced by the natural division will also be altered or mutated. Each successive division introduces a slight risk of error in the genetic material of the new sperm, which is passed on to the children.

How to join our donor program

The first step involves filling out an enquiry form on the London Sperm Bank  website or calling one of our consultants on 020 7563 4305 to book an initial screening appointment.

This appointment is an opportunity for you to find out more about the donor program as well as for us to find out a bit more about yourself.  We ask you to complete a medical questionnaire as well as to produce a sperm sample for us to test its suitability to freeze.   You will get the results of this appointment within 48 hours and if you are suitable we ask for you to visit us again for infectious screening tests (STD and Hepatitis).  If you are found to be none infectious we then invite you to join our donor program.

The program last approximately 3-6 months and over the course of donation you will be screened for hereditary disease and asked to see one of our onsite doctors for a complete medical check up.
Even if for any reason you are not accepted onto our program, our meticulous screening process means that at the very least you find out more about yourself than when you previously enquired.

To reflect the changes the HFEA made to the payment policy we are now reimbursing all of our donors a flat fee of £35 per visit to the clinic.  Previously the HFEA had placed a £250 cap on expenses, this cap has now been removed.

Increase to payments to sperm donors

This Sunday marks the begining of changes to taking place in the world of gamete donation!

As of Sunday, sperm donors will receive a flat fee of £35 per donation!!! to find out more click here: http://londonspermbank.com/will_i_get_paid_for_my_sperm_donation.html

Be a hero, become a sperm donor!

In the UK there is a huge demand for donor sperm which has lead to some patients having to go on very long waiting lists.  The London Sperm Bank has grown to become one of the largest sperm banks in the UK and thanks to our donors we have successfully created 1661 families through our parent clinic The London Women’s Clinic.

To these patients our donors are quite frankly their hero’s because without their help their beautiful family unit would not exist.  Sperm donation is a vital part of a long journey that women take in order to have a family.

There are many more reasons for becoming a donor each reason unique to the individual, which makes the recruitment process all the more fun for us.

Apart from the national shortage and the act of doing something selfless, men have chosen to come forward for the following reasons including to pass on genes: Although sperm donors are not legal parents of donor conceived children genetic preservation seems like a satisfactory alternative for some men. 

The initial process is fairly simple in that if you are interested you can simply fill out an enquiry form on our website www.londonspermbank.com or call us on 020 7935 4305 to register an interest. 

The requirements:

• ·         Aged 18-45
• ·         Healthy and free from infection
• ·         Free from hereditary disease
• ·         Agree to make up to 25 donations over a period of 3-6 months

The initial screening tests to join the program will be complete within the first 2 visits to the clinic and they consist of a semen analysis and a blood and urine test.  All visits to and from the clinic are reimbursed in terms of loss of earnings and travel.  Once you have completed the donor program you can also find out from us specific information about the outcome of your donations such as the number of live births you have had as well as the sex and year of birth of any offspring created as a result of your donations.

Pass on your genes and make this year the year you chose to be someone’s hero.  Make this year count.  

Donor 101: Caucasian, green eyes, brown hair, 1.80m, atheist, marketing executive

What would your profile say?

If you feel you have good genes, are healthy and like the thought of “passing on your genes”, then why not become a sperm donor?

Continue your gene pool and help others not able to conceive complete their family.  Becoming a donor is more than just a gesture of altruism, but a way that you too as a donor can achieve your desire to procreate in an unconventional way.

Whether you are currently in a relationship or single we would like to hear from you.  Our donors come in all shapes and sizes, regardless of your education, social background, race or hobbies, we want you- so long as you are aged 18-45, fit and healthy and free from hereditary or infectious disease.

The first step involves filling out an enquiry form on our website: www.londonspermbank.com or calling one of our consultants on 020 7935 9004 to book an initial screening visit.

During this visit you will get the chance to speak to a member of the team who will be more than happy to answer any questions that you might have. We will also get you to complete a medical questionnaire and also produce a sperm sample for us to check it’s suitability to freeze.

If you are considered fit and healthy with great sperm quality after freezing, you are already half way through the screening process.  We will then ask you to come in for a blood and urine test which tests for sexually transmitted disease.  If these tests come back with the all clear, you are asked to see our medical doctor for a medical assessment and then you are free to start making donations.

Even if for any reason you are not accepted onto our program, our meticulous screening process means that at the very least you find out more about yourself than when you previously enquired.

If you’re still not 100% sure about making that initial enquiry, here are just some of the reasons why our donors have joined the program- men just like you:

‘…people close to me have suffered testicular cancer and become infertile…’
Police Officer, 34

‘…my partner and I won’t be having kids so I really want to help couples that want them…’ 
Plumber, 32

‘…I have no idea what might happen in the future and I knew a couple unable to have children so I decided to do this…’

Student, 26

‘…so that my friends could know more about where sperm used to create their child came from…’ 
Mathematician, 29 (known donor to lesbian couple)

Each and every donor has their own reason for joining, so whether you are considering donating for altruistic reasons or to “pass on your genes” make today the day you choose to take action!

Red-heads welcomed!!!

Unlike the Cryo's International sperm bank, here at The London Sperm Bank, we are looking for men from all different walks of life with a variety of different characteristics.  In fact we embrace donors that are individualistic and personally we feel that we quite frankly do not have enough red haired donors- so please do apply.

Requirements:

• Age 18-45
• Healthy (free from infectious and hereditary disease)
• Willing to commit to regular donations 
• Can commute into London, UK for donations

The rest is down to us, during your first visit our friendly scientists will take a look at your sperm just to make sure that they are nice and healthy and of course freezable.  If they are and your blood tests and medical assessments confirm that you are nice and healthy- then you're in!!! Simple as that!

Get in touch with us to start the ball rolling, we are fascinated to find out more about you and any anecdotal stories you might have- we’re all ears! To book your first appointment either drop us an Email: info@londonspermbank.com or give us a call on 020 7935 9004