As I prepare to conclude my participation
in the programme, I thrust my mind back to the outset and the reasons I
joined. These thoughts summarise why I
have to profess my pride in having run the course and hopefully helped some
very willing and able parents to have a child/children of their own. The benefits brought to many thousands of
caring parents whom require fertility treatment must make the LSB’s programme
both incredibly worthwhile and, in my own experience, very personally
beneficial in finding out more about the people we are and the great gifts we
possess.
Dear friends of my mother have recently had
their first child, a beautiful daughter; counted as a great blessing which they
had for years feared would never arrive.
They had exhausted a great deal of savings to attempt three cycles of
fertility treatment. Having seen their
disaffection – though maintained desire – it brought home to me how lucky many
of us are; to have full virility. Quite
saddening to me is the fact that many of us, either by choice, misfortune or orientation
might never be in a position to have a child.
Educated friends, increasingly, do not want to bring children into the
modern society; feeling a general dissuasion toward the world we live in. Some are incredibly fertile but either have
not the luck or the confidence to meet somebody. Others simply are not inclined towards
children, towards traditional conception and so forth.
Personally, having a very faithful; thence
fatalistic background, I had to search my conscience to find comfort in
engaging in the programme. Aspects of my
religious upbringing make the process quite uncomfortable and therefore what I
have done for the good of others does not conform to what I would say are the
rubrics of my personal ethics. Or,
should I say, what were my personal
ethics. Fortunately for me, I have
benefited from different educative schools and I took a utilitarian viewpoint
when weighing-up the decision to donate.
I would describe myself as a straight, reasonably-conservative and
old-fashioned, young man with traditional views on bringing children into the
world: mother and father, 2.4 children, nice family home. What I had to do; or more-so, decided to do
– was to look at the situation objectively.
The modern world allows us all to thoroughly enjoy our differences; in
ethnicity, creed, culture and many other areas.
There are no longer the outmoded restrictions and discriminations
regarding sexuality, gender, colour, physical ability and such. So my mindset of the typical family is rather
narrow; though I am proud of who I am – there are many other people who are
incredibly capable of bringing-up children.
For instance, I have two girl-friends and two male friends whom are
enjoying same-sex relationships, are brilliant with children, hold steady jobs
and own their own properties. There can
be no right, objectively, to say that they are any less able to raise children
than a heterosexual couple. With a great
deal of young people in this country falling pregnant in adolescence,
latching-on to Government-backed support to raise their children; it can be no
less socially acceptable to help those whom have the means to raise healthy and
happy children. Rather than turn this
into an anthropological or socio-demographic debate (or any other highfalutin’
terminology one might seek to use) I shall shut away my full rationale and
personal soul-searching regarding donation.
Needless to say, however, the crux of the matter is that the benefits to
society as a whole must be seen to be good.
Having overcome my initial inhibitions, I
have to say that I am greatly pleased with the decision to join the
programme. In my earnest opinion, there
must be hundreds of thousands of men, in London alone, whom can painlessly
(quite the opposite, rather) help innumerable potential parents. The people whom utilise fertility treatments
are both screened – rather scrutinised – and, more importantly, incredibly
devoted to the notion of parenthood. In
our modern day, where genuine affection and love for other people appears less
and less evident; this behaviour should be greatly encouraged.
What grates at me a little is that the LSB
programme is so logical. Most men, since
puberty, have somehow engaged in masturbation, often by desire; more pressingly
by necessity. This is a fact which is
irrefutable and perhaps ought not be such a cause of shame as it often is for
the young, particularly. Irrespectively,
the programme gives men an outlet for this, covers expenses and aids other
people. Therefore, this is the most
enjoyable vocation any man is ever likely to find! As such, you could sum-up the programme as a
way of – genuinely – doing a huge service for other people, whilst taking care
of a natural process and, perhaps, earning a little cash for the fun of it.
My final point is the personal mental and
health and fitness benefits that the programme brings. Going through the initial tests is a little
bit of an ego boost. Ascertaining
virility can give the confidence a lift.
Then there are the tests; a little blood, some urine & a physical
examination. At the end of this, there
is room to appreciate the lack of illness, disease, infection.
The flipside of the tests is that it has
decreased my desire to sleep-around; particularly to be far more careful in
future. Those of us on the programme are
very fortunate and gambling that away in a game of chance with a stranger no
longer appeals greatly. Combining that
with my aforementioned reasons of wanting to help those whom cannot have
children, it really has given me an increased awareness not only of the great
tool I have in my body; but also the genuine sanctity attached to raising
children; and family love – irrespective of what the components are of that
family.
This is not a deliberately persuasive piece
for the LSB. I am not a sycophant,
perhaps an idealist; more-so a realist.
There are many people affected by fertility problems: many people have
the ability to help these people via a simple process which costs nothing yet
gives an awful lot to the donor. Entered
into for the right reasons, this is as rewarding to the donor as the recipient.
Article written by a London Sperm Bank Donor: A Business Owner living and working in London
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